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Online Relationships: Real or Fantasy?

Online Relationships: Real or Fantasy?

When I “e-meet” someone, that is connect online, I often have strong and immediate feelings that I like them or that I don’t, even though I have never seen them or talked to them in person.  It is not a stretch to see that this feeling of connection can be experienced by many people as an intimate and even sexual attraction.  (I have dealt with the topic of connecting sexually through cybersex vs. real sex in another post.) The reality...

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The Rocky History of Sex Addiction in Public Awareness

The Rocky History of Sex Addiction in Public Awareness

It is the height of the AIDS epidemic, around 30 years ago. Dr. Patrick Carnes, the founding father of sex addiction theory, is going to speak to the gay community. He has been invited in by a respected African American sexologist who feels that the gay community really needs to hear his message. On this occasion Dr. Carnes is transported in one of three identical limos so that if he was attacked it would be impossible to know which limo...

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“I’m So Sorry”: Do Sex Addicts Really Mean it?

“I’m So Sorry”: Do Sex Addicts Really Mean it?

Celebrity sex addicts from high profile politicians to iconic sports stars whose secret behavior is exposed are quick to apologize. We see them on television, often with their betrayed spouse beside them, saying how sorry they are and apologizing to their fans, constituents, partners and the world at large for betraying their trust and violating their own values. But can they really be sorry right away? One’s first and maybe cynical...

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Intimacy Disability and the Loneliness of Sex Addicts

Intimacy Disability and the Loneliness of Sex Addicts

Addicts are profoundly lonely. They may be active and sociable; they may have friends. But in terms of the deeper emotional connection to a partner, they tend to keep themselves on a starvation diet. The loneliness of course is self-imposed. Addicts are not addicts because they are making up for the fact that they don’t happen to have a lover. Their addiction and their emotional isolation are both related to a deep fear of intimacy....

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5 Signs you are Involved with a Narcissist

5 Signs you are Involved with a Narcissist

Basically you can’t get close to a narcissist.  A relationship with a narcissist will be a problem, and the more narcissistic they are the more it becomes impossible. Sex addicts and addicts generally are often described as narcissistic, but many non-addicts are narcissists as well.  Trying to have a relationship with a true narcissist can be an extremely tortuous and confusing experience. The continuum of narcissism Many psychological...

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Attention Deficit Disorder and Sex Addiction: What’s the Connection?

Attention Deficit Disorder and Sex Addiction: What’s the Connection?

A large number of sex addicts have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) Dr. Rory Reid of UCLA did research in 2007 and 2011 in which groups of men in treatment for sex addiction were assessed for ADHD and in which 23%-26% were found to meet the criteria for adult ADHD.  Almost all of these (97%) were of the “predominantly inattentive type” rather than being predominantly hyperactive. (The prevalence of ADHD in the general...

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