Even after a sex addict has admitted the problem and has gone into treatment for sexually addictive behaviors like serial affairs, excessive porn use, or compulsive cybersex (to name just a few), it is normal for spouses and partners to feel hurt, angry and suspicious. Even after the addict has been sexually “sober” for a period of months, the spouse will usually be justifiably mistrustful.
They see the sex addict going to therapy and support groups; they hear the addict saying all the right things and yet they feel that there is not enough evidence of real change; they are afraid it’s all a sham.
After working with many recovering sex addicts and their partners, I feel that there are four key elements to regaining trust: